Beware the pull of the Substack! I would rank it up there with one of those acceptable addictions. Who can argue with wanting to read great writing and be part of a great community space?? That's all we're doing here right? right??? riiiiiiight......emphasis on the third one. Once I realized I was substituting Substack for some of my previous foibles, I had to do a big 'whoa nelly' and slow the F down. Isn't funny how we can walk into a danger zone with such naivete? At the end of the day our compulsive tendencies will follow us no matter where we go. Be it the internet or the real world. Go gently into the weekend my friends. And Substack in moderation! We're no good to anyone if we've burned out creatively or otherwise. xo
'Acceptable addictions' - yes, some of them really are aren't they? I'm going to steal your 'whoa nelly' and use it when I need it myself : ) thanks Kim - happy weekend to you too. We have unexpected snow here!!
I wouldn't term myself as a Substackaholic, but perhaps a Madstacker. I'm simply mad (in a very good way) over what this platform offers. Satya, this is what we needed to see. A kindness self-reality check for anyone who puts the pressure on themselves to keep up and is navigating the danger zone of comparison/the numbers game. Bravo and thank you.
Madstacker - I love it!! Thanks Charlene - like you, I'm a huge fan of this platform, and so anything that keeps us in a really healthy and joyful relationship with it is good in my books. Good to meet you!
Yeah I’m compulsively attached to my phone. Even more so now in bed bound roughly 50% of my life.
I recently have started gaming again. Passive ones like kitty collector and more active building a life in Stardew valley style ones too.
These are a lovely ‘healthy ish’ addition to my Substack time. I have got rid of Facebook and Twitter that was. Occasionally have a scroll through insta and watch a couple of TV programmes with hubby each week and that’s it.
Yet I find my mind becomes merky if I spend too long on any of these so I have blackout times when the phone is physically off and I instead do pottery or qigong or just doze if fatigue and pain too much. I appreciate blackouts and becoming more addicted to them….. there is a reason I love silent retreats.
If it works, do it - healthy-ish is always better than not healthy, not healthy is always better than really unhealthy etc. etc. Sending love & good to see you here!
The hardest thing for me is comparisonitis and it's close cousins judgement and criticism. When I notice these 3 showing up, it's my cue to step away from Substack for a while and find my playful and creative parts again (which is often easier to do by myself, without the flood of amazing content from other people bombarding me). Thanks for articulating this and I love the IFS analogy 😀
Ha comparisonitis - I know that one!! I'm particularly prone to it with a few authors who I just want to BE. I try to pull the good out of it too - what is it I want to emulate, and how can I bring more of that energy into my writing/life? And sometimes, stepping away for a wee while is the best thing to do : )
I love “make offerings.” This option only just occurred to me the other day, so busy worrying about whether people like my essays and forgetting their ultimate purpose. Now to see this shifted view arise again in your post brings it home for me. Thank you, Satya!
It's something that the Buddhist teachings keep reminding me of - and helps me to shift away from what I'm getting - but a bit of both is good too : ) good to see you here Don.
I can spend hours reading and responding to comments on other substacks with no idea how much time has gone by.
I think it's my compulsion to learn and figure out what's going on, which has been a lifelong compulsion driven by both curiosity and a need to feel safe.
I have no compulsion about my own substack at all, but then I'm retired so I only write when I feel like it!
Hehe - welcome to the group E.Z.! Curiosity is such a great quality - and hey, a little bit (too much) of what we enjoy isn't the worst thing in the world... keep enjoying it!
Well done for being so open and honest. I guess we all have and need our comfort zones where we feel psychological at ease and this includes religion. Dave Evans.
Well I refer to the many millions of people who gain comfort from being Moslem, Christian, Jewish or other. It's not only being loved by God if that is one's faith but also the Faith community identity. We seen to need to belong and organised religion historically has provided a sense of belonging. Dave.
I just wrote a short post about taking the Substack app off my phone for the very reason's you write about. Thank you for sharing some great advice for overcoming compulsions!
“how much of my ego is getting tangled up with this writing? “ - this is a checkpoint I need! It’s complicated for me because the actual process of writing is so cathartic for me - it’s how I process all my parts and bits. But (yet) when I hit post and share it, my ego swoops in and external validation takes over my day. The wondering/incessant checking how my work was received.
I continually remind myself that I am writing FOR ME first. Yet, I so desperately want my words to resonate. And- that is ok. Because it’s about connection.
Thanks for reminding us to give ourselves grace and compassion. And an understanding that all our parts are doing it’s job.
What you've described Allison is VERY close to how it feels for me. The writing itself is hugely therapeutic. AND, I don't think I'd be writing at all if I didn't think ANYONE was going to read it, and so there's a tangledness right from the get go. Connection - yes!! Glad you found it a helpful piece - we'll all just have to keep an eye on each other : )
I am compulsively curious. I love to find new writers to follow on Substack who give me value through their writing. Then, when I comment on how much value their writing gave me, I am giving them well-deserved validation.
And value comes in so many forms. it can be something that makes me laugh, the aesthetic pleasure of a painting or a poem, beautiful, transporting prose, or new knowledge.
I've just gotten started writing on substack. My compulsion however is similar to social media, I want to validate everything I enjoy reading with a like and at least a follow. I think I'm going to need to streamline that list, to make sure I'm focused on reading the "important" things. (mostly personal development)
Welcome Kathi! I hope you find your way here with all that - it is similar, but I think different in many ways - and there are ways (as you say) to help us manage it. Enjoy being here!!
Thank you for this, Satya. I love how you start and end with kindness. Both these steps are the hardest steps for me :) I went into a 'metrics cleanse' last week (following a suggestion in one of Sara Fays posts) and it was a bliss. I didn't check my metrics for a week. And now I'm back at it. I'll try to do it again, and maybe I'll try to make it a routine: only check metrics once a week. But it's hard :) And it's hard to start with Kindness, but I'll try :)
Metrics cleanse, I love it. Sarah is so far. Yes, it's hard! I tried it a few times, and it didn't work... the other approach is to check them so often you get sick of it and then want to leave them alone for a while because you don't want to look at them again... I'm better at this one! (good to meet you)
Ha! I love the idea of getting sick of them and using it strategically :) I don't think it would work for me though, I think I'd just get sicker and sicker and sicker but I wouldn't stop, it would become like a nervous tick unfortunately :)
Beware the pull of the Substack! I would rank it up there with one of those acceptable addictions. Who can argue with wanting to read great writing and be part of a great community space?? That's all we're doing here right? right??? riiiiiiight......emphasis on the third one. Once I realized I was substituting Substack for some of my previous foibles, I had to do a big 'whoa nelly' and slow the F down. Isn't funny how we can walk into a danger zone with such naivete? At the end of the day our compulsive tendencies will follow us no matter where we go. Be it the internet or the real world. Go gently into the weekend my friends. And Substack in moderation! We're no good to anyone if we've burned out creatively or otherwise. xo
'Acceptable addictions' - yes, some of them really are aren't they? I'm going to steal your 'whoa nelly' and use it when I need it myself : ) thanks Kim - happy weekend to you too. We have unexpected snow here!!
I wouldn't term myself as a Substackaholic, but perhaps a Madstacker. I'm simply mad (in a very good way) over what this platform offers. Satya, this is what we needed to see. A kindness self-reality check for anyone who puts the pressure on themselves to keep up and is navigating the danger zone of comparison/the numbers game. Bravo and thank you.
Madstacker - I love it!! Thanks Charlene - like you, I'm a huge fan of this platform, and so anything that keeps us in a really healthy and joyful relationship with it is good in my books. Good to meet you!
Yeah I’m compulsively attached to my phone. Even more so now in bed bound roughly 50% of my life.
I recently have started gaming again. Passive ones like kitty collector and more active building a life in Stardew valley style ones too.
These are a lovely ‘healthy ish’ addition to my Substack time. I have got rid of Facebook and Twitter that was. Occasionally have a scroll through insta and watch a couple of TV programmes with hubby each week and that’s it.
Yet I find my mind becomes merky if I spend too long on any of these so I have blackout times when the phone is physically off and I instead do pottery or qigong or just doze if fatigue and pain too much. I appreciate blackouts and becoming more addicted to them….. there is a reason I love silent retreats.
If it works, do it - healthy-ish is always better than not healthy, not healthy is always better than really unhealthy etc. etc. Sending love & good to see you here!
The hardest thing for me is comparisonitis and it's close cousins judgement and criticism. When I notice these 3 showing up, it's my cue to step away from Substack for a while and find my playful and creative parts again (which is often easier to do by myself, without the flood of amazing content from other people bombarding me). Thanks for articulating this and I love the IFS analogy 😀
Ha comparisonitis - I know that one!! I'm particularly prone to it with a few authors who I just want to BE. I try to pull the good out of it too - what is it I want to emulate, and how can I bring more of that energy into my writing/life? And sometimes, stepping away for a wee while is the best thing to do : )
I love Satya!!! Thank you for this 🙏
Aw xx
I love “make offerings.” This option only just occurred to me the other day, so busy worrying about whether people like my essays and forgetting their ultimate purpose. Now to see this shifted view arise again in your post brings it home for me. Thank you, Satya!
It's something that the Buddhist teachings keep reminding me of - and helps me to shift away from what I'm getting - but a bit of both is good too : ) good to see you here Don.
My name is EZ and I'm a substack commentaholic.
I can spend hours reading and responding to comments on other substacks with no idea how much time has gone by.
I think it's my compulsion to learn and figure out what's going on, which has been a lifelong compulsion driven by both curiosity and a need to feel safe.
I have no compulsion about my own substack at all, but then I'm retired so I only write when I feel like it!
Hehe - welcome to the group E.Z.! Curiosity is such a great quality - and hey, a little bit (too much) of what we enjoy isn't the worst thing in the world... keep enjoying it!
Agree!
Well done for being so open and honest. I guess we all have and need our comfort zones where we feel psychological at ease and this includes religion. Dave Evans.
Not sure what you mean about religion David? Thanks for your comment!
Well I refer to the many millions of people who gain comfort from being Moslem, Christian, Jewish or other. It's not only being loved by God if that is one's faith but also the Faith community identity. We seen to need to belong and organised religion historically has provided a sense of belonging. Dave.
The eternal struggle for balance… I can so relate!!
Thank you Satya!!!
So glad you found it helpful An. You're not alone!
What a blessing it is to not be or feel alone!! 🙌
🤗
I just wrote a short post about taking the Substack app off my phone for the very reason's you write about. Thank you for sharing some great advice for overcoming compulsions!
https://open.substack.com/pub/amygabrielle/p/well-this-is-awkward?r=39usm&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
This is rich, raw and real. Thank you, Satya. 🙏🏼
“how much of my ego is getting tangled up with this writing? “ - this is a checkpoint I need! It’s complicated for me because the actual process of writing is so cathartic for me - it’s how I process all my parts and bits. But (yet) when I hit post and share it, my ego swoops in and external validation takes over my day. The wondering/incessant checking how my work was received.
I continually remind myself that I am writing FOR ME first. Yet, I so desperately want my words to resonate. And- that is ok. Because it’s about connection.
Thanks for reminding us to give ourselves grace and compassion. And an understanding that all our parts are doing it’s job.
What you've described Allison is VERY close to how it feels for me. The writing itself is hugely therapeutic. AND, I don't think I'd be writing at all if I didn't think ANYONE was going to read it, and so there's a tangledness right from the get go. Connection - yes!! Glad you found it a helpful piece - we'll all just have to keep an eye on each other : )
Thanks fro this essay, Satya.
I am compulsively curious. I love to find new writers to follow on Substack who give me value through their writing. Then, when I comment on how much value their writing gave me, I am giving them well-deserved validation.
And value comes in so many forms. it can be something that makes me laugh, the aesthetic pleasure of a painting or a poem, beautiful, transporting prose, or new knowledge.
A lovely offering for you to make David. And curiosity is so precious.
I've just gotten started writing on substack. My compulsion however is similar to social media, I want to validate everything I enjoy reading with a like and at least a follow. I think I'm going to need to streamline that list, to make sure I'm focused on reading the "important" things. (mostly personal development)
Welcome Kathi! I hope you find your way here with all that - it is similar, but I think different in many ways - and there are ways (as you say) to help us manage it. Enjoy being here!!
Okay for March, I am going to check my stats once a week. I really need to do this and this article helped me take this first step.
Good luck!!!
Thank you for this, Satya. I love how you start and end with kindness. Both these steps are the hardest steps for me :) I went into a 'metrics cleanse' last week (following a suggestion in one of Sara Fays posts) and it was a bliss. I didn't check my metrics for a week. And now I'm back at it. I'll try to do it again, and maybe I'll try to make it a routine: only check metrics once a week. But it's hard :) And it's hard to start with Kindness, but I'll try :)
Metrics cleanse, I love it. Sarah is so far. Yes, it's hard! I tried it a few times, and it didn't work... the other approach is to check them so often you get sick of it and then want to leave them alone for a while because you don't want to look at them again... I'm better at this one! (good to meet you)
Ha! I love the idea of getting sick of them and using it strategically :) I don't think it would work for me though, I think I'd just get sicker and sicker and sicker but I wouldn't stop, it would become like a nervous tick unfortunately :)
My name is Carissa and I’m a Substackaholic.
I SO relate. Value vs Validation. Brilliant, Sarah. Another fab post for Notes. Busy Friday. Thx for sharing this, Russell.
Thanks CK - glad I'm not alone. Maybe we'll get a group going 😉
Substackaholics Anonymous. SA.
Exactly : )
Hi, my name is … glad y’all are here!! :)
I’m in!! :)
Hello? I forgot to thank the author! Thank you, Satya. 🙏