It's relatively easy to be grateful and thankful (or at least performative say you are) one day a year. It's considerable harder to make gratitude a way of life.
Well written, Russell, and very relatable. This year has been a continuous battle in several areas of life, but being able to find those flashes of light and joy during the day that are always there but not always easy to see—the little things in life—has been what has kept me going despite any adversities life has thrown at me.
Very well said. I’m glad you’re finding success with it!
This is a practice I try to do, and I have succeeded with some frequency over the years. When I first started, I was going through what at the time was the darkest years of my life. (Two darker periods came later, and I’m glad I figured things out somewhat before them.) And I’m getting pretty good at it now.
At bedtime every night, no matter what, my partner and I share our bests of the day—at least two selections. In three years, I think we’ve only missed the exchange once. We try to be as specific as possible, so that it doesn’t overlap with more general gratefulness exercises. Most days it’s pretty easy, but sometimes there are rough days where I have to really try to find two specific bests beyond the basics (food, clothing, shelter). But there is power in the effort, and the selection tends to ease the stress.
And yeah, when I had a rough bout of high-fever Covid, my bests were simple and basic yet comforting.
I got my ass handed to me last year when my husband's company decided to relocate us 3,000 miles from the Oregon retirement homestead we'd just got going. So, four years of my sweat, labor, all my funds, my 7 beehives, 20 hens, my huge pollinator garden I planted, my 5,000 fenced garden we'd renovated from the ground up and planted with hundreds of plants, my greenhouse full of thousands of dollars worth of plants, all my friends I'd made there, in SW Oregon, and all my plans for the lavender farm I was going to open there... all of it went in the trash.
"Spiral" doesn't quite cover what I went through. Nearly got divorced, but he begged me to come to eastern NC, and I had no choice because at 56, I had no money of my own and we couldn't maintain my farm and a place for him here... anyway, VERY LONG STUPID STORY short, I went through a very, very long, ugly period of grief. Trauma is real, my friend.
The entire journey was a total nightmare, there's really no other way to describe it. The only silver lining is, without my farm, I am now able to focus on my writing again. So. I'm channeling all of that, every drop, into my books, and I'm letting his effing job support me while I do it.
I'm following you now because I want to flip all of this into a successful career, so we can afford to do whatever we want, wherever we want, when his contract is up. And I assure you, I'm not staying here. 😆 OMG But, seriously. No. I'm outta here.
But I'm not ready to say I'm thankful for any of this yet, though, and it's been over a year and a half. We're even in our second house here, because the first town was just ... not a good fit. Nightmare. This is better, we're now only an hour from Raleigh. And I found a great doctor and my health is the best it's been in decades. Stress levels are way down, everything is normal, even my A1C is almost normal!!! I just bought a new bike named Petunia, and I'm hoping to renovate the 700sf bonus space above the garage into my writing office and art space. My new company is registered and going, and my editing work is rolling in, which is good, because cash is awesome. But these cockroaches, the humidity, and the food here? OMG Not thankful. Nope.
😆😆😆😆
Let's see what I can get accomplished in the next few years. 🥰
🐈⬛🧙♀️🔮🍄🌿
Creating magic every day in the Forsythia Cottage,
Wow. That’s so much. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. My inlaws are in Roseville which is also outside of Raleigh, so I know that area a bit. I would rather be on the west coast, though. Hope you find some solace there, and get back to where you want to go soon.
Well written, Russell, and very relatable. This year has been a continuous battle in several areas of life, but being able to find those flashes of light and joy during the day that are always there but not always easy to see—the little things in life—has been what has kept me going despite any adversities life has thrown at me.
Same!
Very well said. I’m glad you’re finding success with it!
This is a practice I try to do, and I have succeeded with some frequency over the years. When I first started, I was going through what at the time was the darkest years of my life. (Two darker periods came later, and I’m glad I figured things out somewhat before them.) And I’m getting pretty good at it now.
At bedtime every night, no matter what, my partner and I share our bests of the day—at least two selections. In three years, I think we’ve only missed the exchange once. We try to be as specific as possible, so that it doesn’t overlap with more general gratefulness exercises. Most days it’s pretty easy, but sometimes there are rough days where I have to really try to find two specific bests beyond the basics (food, clothing, shelter). But there is power in the effort, and the selection tends to ease the stress.
And yeah, when I had a rough bout of high-fever Covid, my bests were simple and basic yet comforting.
Love this, minus the Covid part.
I got my ass handed to me last year when my husband's company decided to relocate us 3,000 miles from the Oregon retirement homestead we'd just got going. So, four years of my sweat, labor, all my funds, my 7 beehives, 20 hens, my huge pollinator garden I planted, my 5,000 fenced garden we'd renovated from the ground up and planted with hundreds of plants, my greenhouse full of thousands of dollars worth of plants, all my friends I'd made there, in SW Oregon, and all my plans for the lavender farm I was going to open there... all of it went in the trash.
"Spiral" doesn't quite cover what I went through. Nearly got divorced, but he begged me to come to eastern NC, and I had no choice because at 56, I had no money of my own and we couldn't maintain my farm and a place for him here... anyway, VERY LONG STUPID STORY short, I went through a very, very long, ugly period of grief. Trauma is real, my friend.
The entire journey was a total nightmare, there's really no other way to describe it. The only silver lining is, without my farm, I am now able to focus on my writing again. So. I'm channeling all of that, every drop, into my books, and I'm letting his effing job support me while I do it.
I'm following you now because I want to flip all of this into a successful career, so we can afford to do whatever we want, wherever we want, when his contract is up. And I assure you, I'm not staying here. 😆 OMG But, seriously. No. I'm outta here.
But I'm not ready to say I'm thankful for any of this yet, though, and it's been over a year and a half. We're even in our second house here, because the first town was just ... not a good fit. Nightmare. This is better, we're now only an hour from Raleigh. And I found a great doctor and my health is the best it's been in decades. Stress levels are way down, everything is normal, even my A1C is almost normal!!! I just bought a new bike named Petunia, and I'm hoping to renovate the 700sf bonus space above the garage into my writing office and art space. My new company is registered and going, and my editing work is rolling in, which is good, because cash is awesome. But these cockroaches, the humidity, and the food here? OMG Not thankful. Nope.
😆😆😆😆
Let's see what I can get accomplished in the next few years. 🥰
🐈⬛🧙♀️🔮🍄🌿
Creating magic every day in the Forsythia Cottage,
Cynthia
Wow. That’s so much. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. My inlaws are in Roseville which is also outside of Raleigh, so I know that area a bit. I would rather be on the west coast, though. Hope you find some solace there, and get back to where you want to go soon.